The Ugly Duck CLUB: <center>3 Reasons Zombies Always Win! </center>

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Recently I had one of those nights of sleep that leaves you wondering all day awake. I had a zombie dream. I have never had one of those before now. They were everywhere. Zombies are hard to beat. True to a good action horror flick, there was some major zombie butt-kicking going on. But zombies are no easy opponent. They always win! Sure I was kicking, hitting, slapping, shooting and blowing up some zombies. In fact I was so good at it that I got too comfortable. In the beginning I was only around one other person and we were doing well keeping them away. By the end of the dream, after several good surprise attacks and victories; I found my self surrounded by women. They were all friendly like a cocktail party. I remember one of them licking my wrist while they all laughed. It kind of tickled and I was puzzled by her purpose. Then they all started and all changed into zombies at the same time. Needless-to-say, I didn't make it to the last bite. I fought but the scene faded to black. I don't think I made it. The alarm went off. SO I was ejected from the dream just as I died. I was hoping the next night would be of me as a zombie; but no such luck. No dreams. Zombies always win and here's why:

1) Zombies are persistent! There is no outrunning the zombies. In spite of walking 1 mph; they still manage to catch up with you running at full tilt. Besides, wherever you are going is where they already are. How do you beat that? There is something to be learned from this kind of persistence I suppose. Take a slow steady pace, no speeding!

2) Zombies are focused! There is no mistaking the purpose of zombies. They eat brains of living people. That's their only purpose. They don't want to dance, sing or be friends. They only want your brains. Its that single-mindedness that always sees them through to their goal. Of course, how does something dead digest something living? or why would something dead even need to eat? or why would something dead be living? Ok; it just the movies.

3) Zombies are dead! They have nothing to lose. You cant kill them completely. They always get back up; which is good for all of us to keep in mind. Move over Bob Dole; viagra has a new spokesman. OK; don't know where that came from and wont stop it from going away. The greatest villain is one that has nothing to lose. All the bargaining chips are nullified. You cant buy off a zombie, reason with a zombie or seduce a zombie…just blast 'em.

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